Overwhelmed by You Read online

  Emily was going on about the tour and how crazy it was, the insane fans … I really didn’t hear much because Ream moved, and it was toward me, and I went to mush. Gah … I hated mush. Most of all I hated mushiness when it came to guys.

  I swallowed. Then I silently pleaded for him to disappear because he looked hot in his worn blue jeans and the knitted Asterisk hat that screamed sexiness and totally contradicted with the tats running the length of his arms.

  He stopped an inch away from me and I swear it was on purpose. “Kat.”

  The sound of his husky voice saying my name sent a shiver of anticipation through my body. Jesus, it was like his voice just pranced across my skin then fucked me. I briefly thought of just fucking him again and getting him out of my system.

  Of course that was out of the question. I was dating Lance, and even though it had only been a month and we hadn’t done more than kiss, I’d never do it. Lance was my shield against my own weakness when it came to Ream. Besides, he was nice.

  “Hey.” Even a simple three letter word came out wobbly. What was my deal? Ream was blowing all my confidence out of proportion here.

  It suddenly hit me why it felt different this time … there was no anger in him. The constant barrage of arguing we’d done was because we were both holding onto some serious issues, and that was the change. I had nothing to fight with, to argue against.

  I’d built myself back up over the last eight months after I’d felt completely defeated. I’d expected pissed-off Ream to come back, not overly-confident, self-assured, all-knowing Ream. Okay, he was those things all the time, but now it felt like it was directed straight at me and I had no recourse.

  Ream looked over at Logan and I saw the odd exchange, but I didn’t know what it meant. Ream threw his bag over his shoulder then shifted past me and strode to the house.

  Emily took my hand and squeezed. “You going to be okay with this?”

  I shrugged. “No biggie.” I sure as hell didn’t want Ream or anyone else thinking I couldn’t handle living in the same house as him. We may have slept together and had history, but we could be civil … well, I could be. Ream I wasn’t so sure about.

  Logan put his hand on the back of Emily’s neck. “Lying won’t help anyone, Kat. Bury the shit between the two of you, or I’ll do it for you. He know about the guy you’re dating?”

  I glanced at Emily. She bit her lip and looked guilty as hell. She told him.

  “No.”

  “Fuck.” Logan ran his hand down his face. “Then you need to bury it fast. Like today.”

  There was no discussion with Logan. He set down the law, and from Emily’s eyes moving heavenward, I guessed they’d argued about whatever he considered “burying it” meant. What I didn’t get was why Ream would give a crap if I was with Lance. He hated me, was disgusted at the sight of me.

  Logan was already moving toward the house, Emily tucked into his side.

  “And if I don’t?”

  He kept walking and Emily looked over her shoulder and mouthed, “Don’t go there.”

  I yelled, “Logan! What do you mean you’ll bury it?”

  “He means he’ll lock the two of you in a closet until you make up or kill one another, sugar.” The corners of my lips curled up as I heard the familiar voice. “He’s already pissed about the Ream scenario, thinks it will cause shit in the house, and he hates anything that might upset his Mouse. Now, where is that sweet ass I’ve missed groping for eight months?”

  Crisis strode toward me with his boyish grin and bouncing blond curls. He picked me up in a bear hug, swung me around, then threw me over his shoulder, and slapped my ass. “Looking fuckin’ hot. Damn I missed this ass.”

  “What about my ass?” Georgie yelled from the other side of the car where she was chatting with Kite, the drummer.

  Crisis asked, “Deck around?” I shook my head and Crisis smiled and turned to Georgie. “Shit yeah, baby. Missed that one too.” Georgie wiggled her butt, and Crisis groaned then spanked me hard, put me down, and kissed me right on the lips. No tongue, just hard and quick.

  “Miss me?” he asked.

  I did. Crisis and I may not be interested in one another sexually, but we had a strange connection. It was as if he could act completely himself with me and not worry I’d kick his ass for being an arrogant male chauvinist pig. Crisis may be a cocky smart-ass, but I understood him.

  Georgie chatted enthusiastically with Kite, who was getting the bags out of the back of Crisis’s car. “Hi, Kite.”

  “Kat,” he called and winked. Kite was like the rest of the guys, over six feet, sexy, hot, and yet his personality was completely different. The pierced, tatted drummer was a sweetheart, a gentleman, and rarely got upset or mad at anyone. He kind of balanced out the band with his sweetness. “I’d wash your mouth out with bleach after letting that asshole kiss you.”

  I laughed and Crisis took the opportunity to try and kiss me again, but I shoved him back. He chuckled then grabbed me around the waist, and we started toward the house.

  ***

  “The Reamster has been the biggest prick. I swear he’s had a boner for you since we left. You know what it’s like having a boner for that long?” Crisis continued without letting me answer. “I swear if he doesn’t get laid soon, I’m paying some chick to tie him down and screw him.” He tugged me closer. “You up for it?”

  I rolled my eyes, laughing, then quickly moved the conversation away from Ream, because really, I didn’t want to imagine him screwing any chick. “Meet any nice girls to take home to mommy, pretty boy?” I knew full well he met plenty of girls as we’d texted a few times a week since he’d been gone. Crisis had told me that he had every intention of taking advantage of being the sexy blond bass guitarist.

  “Fuck yeah. Some nice, some dirty …” Crisis clucked his tongue, his fingers squeezing my waist. “Damn, it’s like getting your pick of your favorite model car every night and each one rides completely different. A few not so smooth and some need detailing and a fuckin’ oil change.”

  I smacked his chest. “Gross.”

  Despite my apprehension on seeing Ream again, I was glad to have Emily and the boys back. It had been far too quiet in the house and I’d ended up staying a few nights a week down at my brother’s condo just to be around people. Plus it was close to the gallery, and if Lance wanted to take me for dinner or lunch, then I was downtown already.

  When we walked into the kitchen, Emily caught my eye and I knew exactly what she wanted … to talk away from the boys.

  She kissed Logan then whispered something to him and pulled away. He snagged her hand before she managed two steps, yanked her back, hooked his arm around her waist, and kissed her again. There was no question the guy was smitten. I really never had any doubts, but even after eight months he still looked completely obsessed … and possessive … and in love.

  Emily and I went to her and Logan’s room and sat on the floor, our backs against the foot of the bed, shoulders touching, ankles crossed.

  “So, tell me. What’s happening between you and this Lance guy.”

  I shrugged. Lance had purchased the art gallery I had my work displayed in. I’d thought he’d ask me to remove my pieces, but instead he asked for more.

  He said he owned two galleries in New York, although he knew little about art in my opinion. He was a martial artist, charming, a gentleman, and I liked him. Matt was on the fence about him, and Georgie thought he had a pickle up his ass, but since he was hot, that cancelled out the pickle … unless he sucked in bed. “You told Logan.”

  “Yeah. He knew something was up when I kept taking my calls behind closed doors. He doesn’t like closed doors between us and secrets even less. I caved the second he called me on it. Sorry. I know you wanted to keep it quiet until you knew whether it was going anywhere. So, is it going anywhere?”

  “I like him. I mean he has the potential for being Haagen Dazs quality and he’s really nice.”

  “Nice? Kat, nice?
You know what nice means.”

  We both said at the same time. “He lacks—Need. Infatuation. Craving. Excitement.”

  I sighed. “Yes. But I had that and look where it led me.”

  Emily nudged me with her shoulder. “What happened between you two?” All I’d told her was that Ream and I had become friends when she’d been down in Mexico but then we ruined it by sleeping together. “You guys have been at each other the second you’re in shouting distance. Not today though. Something’s different and I have to say it was nice you guys not throwing insults at one another.” Yeah, Ream wasn’t being an asshole. “Kat, he asked about you all the time when we were away. I’d catch him looking at me when I was talking to you.” She took my hand and squeezed. “Is there a chance you guys can—”

  I shook my head, interrupting her. “We’re way past salvageable. Besides, I like N.I.C.E. It’s stress free and I may not have the fire burning between my legs, but he treats me good.” And my nerves aren’t set off like live wires gone wrong. “So, enough about me and lack of mind blowing sex … has Logan proved himself over the last eight months? Or does he need some tips?”

  Her eyes lit up. “No tips required. I swear he has a book hidden somewhere on how to drive your woman wild. I thought I’d go crazy with all the girls at the concerts and stuff, but Logan never looked at another woman.”

  “That’s because he knows I’d chop off his balls if he did.” He may have saved Emily from sicko Raul, but that didn’t make him immune to my wrath if he ever hurt my bestie.

  “He told me, Kat.” Emily clasped her hands on her lap and wrung them together. “What happened to him after I left Mexico?”

  Damn. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear this.

  “I had to know. I get that he was trying to protect me from it, but it’s about trust and growing together. I think he understood that...” a slight smirk played at the corners of her lips “...after I tied him to the bed while he slept.”

  I laughed because seriously, imagining Logan tied up … well, he’d have been pissed. Scary pissed and all the sexiness in the world wasn’t going to cover up Logan’s fury at being restrained.

  Emily bit her lower lip. “Ah, yeah. It wasn’t pretty. I stood on the far side of the room and was worried he’d escape the ropes with the way he yanked on them. When he stopped and became calm … well that freaked me out too.” Her voice lowered and I saw her eyelids fill with tears. Emily went on to tell me what happened to Logan. I was shocked and disgusted, and by the end we held one another as she choked back sobs. Emily was good at being strong when she needed to be and could neatly tuck her emotions away inside a gift-wrapped parcel. She’d open it up eventually, though, not like me. I’d hide the present and whatever was inside would stay buried … except anger. I liked to tear that present wide open.

  I pulled back and softly wiped her tears away with the pad of my thumb. “I should have known,” she continued. “God, when he came back I hated him when I should’ve been giving him everything of myself.”

  “Emily. You didn’t know. None of us did.” Shit, if that happened to Logan I was afraid to find out what Emily had gone through in Mexico.

  “Deck knew.” Emily sniffled. “Logan made him swear to never tell me, but Deck warned me, Kat. I was more concerned about me. God, everything he did was to save me.”

  “You both suffered. What’s important is that you found one another again. You’re happy and you deserve it more than anyone.”

  “You know I watched him on stage and fell in love with him all over again every single day. Even after all that happened, I feel lucky. You know, I’d go through it again just to be with him. Is that crazy?”

  Wow. “No. That’s love. And love is a little crazy.”

  She bumped my shoulder. “I missed you like hell.” We’d never been separated longer than a few weeks at a time since we were kids, and despite our texting and phone calls, it had been lonely without her here. “Now why the dark circles under your eyes?” I wasn’t going to tell her that the lack of sleep was from thinking about the guy downstairs who tilted my world on its axis. “I saw the way he looked at you.”

  God, bestie’s knew everything. And damn it, my heart started racing at the mere mention of his name … Ha, she hadn’t even said his name, just alluded to it. Christ.

  “Are you really going to be okay with him living here? He’s said some real nasty things to you, Kat.” Called me a bitch and a whore to be exact. “I hardly spoke to him the entire trip, you know. Okay, well, he seldom spoke to anyone when he was around, which was rarely. He’d take off all the time and not even Crisis knew where he went. But that bullshit he pulled with bringing that girl Lana to your coming home party … I swear the guy deserves a gold medal for best dick moves.”

  Yeah, he did.

  Emily didn’t say anything for a minute and neither did I.

  “Still, if you weren’t seeing Lance, I’d say just fuck him and get it out of both your systems.”

  I burst out laughing. Those were my exact words to her when I told her to fuck Logan. “So not happening. We detonate the second we touch.”

  “Yeah, in flames.”

  “No, into shrapnel.”

  Emily said quietly, “I never saw him with a girl. Well, I mean like romantically or sexually or … well, you know what I mean.”

  I hated that I felt elation at hearing that. “And you just said he disappeared all the time.” Elation gone. What the hell was wrong with me?

  “Listen, I don’t know what he was doing, but I don’t think he was off having sex with random chicks.” Emily sighed. “You look like you haven’t slept and you’ve lost weight. It’s Ream, isn’t it? I should’ve gotten to the bottom of the crap between you two before I left. I thought it would be over since you’re seeing Lance, but it’s not … for either of you. What’s going on? What happened, Kat?”

  “Mouse?” Logan’s deep voice sounded outside the door. He didn’t knock before he opened it and went straight to Emily, helped her off the floor, and wrapped his arms around her. He looked at me and I shifted uncomfortably under his intensity. “I’m saying this because it needs to be said and Emily won’t … keep the shit between you and Ream under wraps.”

  “You said that already. Yeah, I got it. We’re good.”

  He grunted. “From the way you both looked at one another … nothing’s good.” Jesus why was everyone saying that? We barely even made eye contact. “Sort the shit out. I told him the same thing.”

  “What did he say?”

  Emily lowered her head and avoided my eyes. Damn, something was up and she wasn’t going to tell me. Although, I suspected she would if Logan hadn’t threatened her somehow, probably sexually. Normally, I’d find that hilarious because from what she’d told me, Logan’s dominant nature intensified in the bedroom.

  Logan shrugged. Shit, he never shrugs.

  I knew he was right though. Ream and I had to move past this. I needed to unearth the weed then destroy it. Only then could I move on and stop fighting him. No one ever said that pulling weeds was easy.

  When I went back downstairs I was relieved that Ream wasn’t there and after chatting for a while with Crisis, Georgie, and Kite, I went out to the barn to check on my horse Clifford and the abused horses that arrived a few days ago. The one thoroughbred was restless in the stall and fearful of his own shadow. We had yet to let him out with the herd as we were scared he’d bolt right through the fence, so Hank and I had been hand walking him and were hoping Emily could help the youngster.

  The motion light near the barn flicked on and I stopped.

  Ream was leaning up against the door, arms crossed and looking none too happy. I was going to walk straight past him when he grabbed my forearm and brought me to a halt.

  “What?” Goose bumps sprinkled across my flesh, and I felt heat flood my cheeks.

  “You’ve lost weight. What’s going on with you?”

  I yanked back, trying to dislodge his hand but he re
fused to give.

  “Babe.” His tone was curt and unrelenting.

  “Yeah, I heard you,” I shot back. “And don’t call me that.”

  He stared at me and I was the one who had to look away first, and I didn’t like it. Why did he make me feel so uncertain of myself? I hated that he knew about my problem. It made me feel delicate, and I hated feeling delicate.

  His hand slid down my arm and my stomach dropped. He linked our fingers together. “Then answer me.”

  “I’m fine.” My pulse picked up speed as his finger caressed back and forth on my wrist. I don’t think he realized he was doing it.

  “Not good enough, Kitkat.”

  His nickname for me falling from his lips sent quivers down my spine. “Listen, Ream. We’ve fought. We’ve agreed that we hate one another. So, let’s just make it less awkward for everyone living here and just agree to ignore one another.”

  “I never agreed to hate you, far from it. And I’m not living in the same house as you and ignoring you. It’s impossible. And I think you know that.” He stepped closer and his other hand came up between us and cupped my chin. “God, I fuckin’ need to kiss you.”

  “What?” I moved back a step and the gravel beneath my feet sounded like gunshots going off I was so hyperaware. Where the hell had this come from? We fought; we didn’t talk about kissing. “You’ve got to be kidding.” I made an awkward sound like a laugh-snort and cocked my hip as I stared at him with disbelief. Was he delusional? On drugs? Ha, like that would ever happen.

  “Are you drunk?”

  “Never been more sober.”

  “Kissing me is so far out of the realm of possibilities. Do orange juice and milk go together, Ream? No. They can sit beside one another and look good, but mix them up and it’s complete anarchy. That’s us.”

  “Orange Creamsicles.”

  “What?”

  “It’s milk and orange and they go damn good together.”