Stygian Page 18

Even though I felt like ramming my cock into her and proving what we had was real and not some fuckin’ spell, she needed slow right now. I slipped my fingers between her legs and groaned. Wet. Jesus, she was wet. Her head may be fucking with what she wanted, but her body knew.

  “I want your hands on my cock.”

  She opened her mouth, about to push me away. I could see her thinking again, wondering if this was a good idea or not. Well, I fuckin knew. I pushed two fingers hard up inside her and she arched her back and moaned, eyes closing. I didn’t move.

  “Take my cock out.”

  She swallowed, and then tried to push up with her pelvis so my fingers would drive in further, but I grabbed her hip and held her still. “Oh, no you don’t.”

  She let go of the edge of the sink then clung to the edge of my jeans. I hissed when I heard the pop of my button and then the slow slide of the zipper.

  Air sucked from my lungs as her fingers wrapped around my cock and squeezed.

  “That’s it. Fuck,” I murmured, then pushed my two fingers in and out of her—hard but slow. I didn’t stop until she was panting, eyes closed, mind focused on us and nothing else.

  I took her mouth again, groaning as she moved her hand up and down my cock. I couldn’t do slow. I needed her now. I pushed her hand away and positioned myself against her.

  “I can’t wait, baby.”

  “I know.”

  I quickly pulled a condom from my back pocket, ripped it open with my teeth and put it on. I cupped her chin. “Look at me.”

  She opened her eyes.

  “I want you to look at me when I put my cock inside you.”

  She nodded.

  I held my cock in my hands then jerked my hips forward and drove inside her. “Fuck.” I nearly came as her tight warmth wrapped around me. I stayed still a second, letting the intensity settle. “Baby?” She opened her eyes and what I saw in the depths . . . fuck, it was beautiful. Complete submission.

  I grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her as I moved inside her, slow yet hard, until she moaned then cried out my name.

  “Legs.”

  As soon as she locked them around me, I sunk deeper. She put her hand on the bathroom mirror behind her as I pumped into her. I needed more of her. I wanted all of her. To own every piece of this woman.

  Her body tensed, and I knew she was close. I moved faster and a cry emerged from her throat, which I quickly silenced with my mouth.

  It was all I needed as she quivered around me. I let go, my release driving shivers through my body. Every muscle tightened. Every thought vanished except loving this woman. Fuck yeah, I loved her and no matter what happened, she’d always be mine in my heart.

  I kissed her swollen lips then slowly slipped from her. “We’ll be okay. Everything will be fine.”

  Her eyes flew open and she struggled out of my embrace and slid off the counter.

  I scowled. “What the fuck?”

  I had to step back as she bent over and pulled on her underwear and jeans. When she straightened, I knew whatever was fucking with her head before sex was back. “You can’t say shit like that. You think everything is going to be okay? Well, it’s not, Balen. They want you dead. And we can’t run forever. So, this,” she pointed to me and her, “isn’t going to happen.”

  It was as if she’d slapped me. “This is bullshit and you know it.” She was running—hard. I pulled off the condom and tossed it in the toilet then did up my jeans.

  “We’ll deal with this. We’ll get through it. I swear—”

  She slammed her hands into my chest. “We? No. There is no we, Balen. You know why? Because some scary-ass spirit things want you dead and when they catch you, I’m left here. Without you. Scars and vampires, men with needles . . . God, it’s nothing to you, but to me this is terrifying. I don’t want this. I don’t want your life especially when you won’t even be here. So, no, you don’t get to say we will get through this, because you’ll be dead.”

  Fuck, she was freakin’ out and I didn’t know how to make it better because I didn’t know what was going to happen. “I’ll fight it.”

  She snorted. “Bonded, I die when they take you. Not Bonded, I live but you . . . you either die or are sentenced to Rest. There’s nothing to fight, Balen. Our fight is over.” Danni lowered her gaze. “I can’t do this. Us.”

  “Too fuckin’ late,” I ground out. “You’re mine.”

  I smelled the fear in her pores, and it intensified when I said the words. She was running and no matter what I said right now, nothing would stop her.

  But she was right. We were fighting a battle I couldn’t win. Her life would be saved if she became a Scar, but I was still leaving whether dead or exiled or in Rest.

  We could run. Jasper, the crazy Scar mercenary might be able to hide us for a fee, but could I do that to Danni? Take her away from everything for a life of hiding and running?

  She pushed past me, grabbed her shoe from the door wedge and walked away.

  I kicked the door. “Fuck!”

  Balen remained silent the rest of the flight and I tried to sleep, but couldn’t, because he was across from me and I could feel the tension radiating off him. He was pissed and I didn’t blame him, it was just that I had reality kick me in the ass.

  The plane landed in the middle of the night and a car waited for us on the tarmac. Balen still didn’t say anything as he held open the passenger door for me and I got in the car. He slammed it shut. Shit. I deserved that. After an hour of silence, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Balen, I know you’re pissed but—”

  “Pissed? Pissed? I’m more than pissed, Danni. I’m livid.”

  “Okay, you’re livid. But what do you want me to do? Fall head over heels in love with you and then have you die?”

  His grip tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles white. “I want you to fight for us, damn it.”

  “I have. I did.”

  “Bullshit. When, Danni? When did you fight? Tell me.”

  “Balen, it’s not that simple.” Tears welled up in my eyes. “You’re leaving me.”

  “No, Danni, you already left me back in that fuckin’ plane.”

  “Because you’re going to die,” I shouted.

  “Yeah, well, maybe I will or maybe I’ll fight for what I want. That just won’t include you now, will it?”

  I looked away and closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears back. Damn it, I was trying to save us both from more pain. Death. Rest. It didn’t matter. I’d fallen too hard, and now I was drowning in the fear of what happened next.

  Fight? What was there left to fight for? How was I supposed to fight Wraiths and Scars?

  “What do you want, Danni? Days ago you asked me to never leave you. Why bother coming with me?” He huffed. “Oh, that’s right, so you won’t fuckin’ die. Because of the fuckin’ spell.” He sped around the corner, the tires squealing. “Don’t worry, all this is ending. I’ll die and you can go back to your gallery and paint. I’ll make sure Waleron knows you want nothing to do with the Scars.” His brows raised and he turned to look at me with a cruel sneer. “But babe, don’t even think of ever painting me again.”

  A tear trailed down my cheek and I brushed it away with my arm. “Balen, please.”

  “I’d fight for you, Danni. Right to the fuckin’ end. I’d never stop. No matter what shit was put up against us, I’d keep fighting. You know why? Because that’s what you do when you love someone.”

  I choked on my sob, a waterfall of tears releasing and slipping down my cheeks. I turned my head away and stared out the window. There was nothing I could say. He was so angry with me . . . and hurt. Yes, I’d hurt him. Did I love him? Was that why this hurt so much? Why it made me sick to my stomach to think about him being taken away?

  Damn it, how was I supposed to fight for him? I had nothing.

  The car careened toward the town of Zugarramurdi. There were no stops and no slowing as he took corners way too fast, and not once did he look over at me.
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  I leaned my head against the side window and tried to stop the constant threat of tears. The car yanked to the side of the road and Balen slammed it into park. “We walk from here.”

  I got out and followed him. He kept a quick pace through the brush, not waiting for me as I struggled over the rough terrain. The air was dry and cold, and by the time we reached the stream, I was shivering. We walked alongside it until it disappeared into an ominous stygian cave.

  Balen disappeared inside, not once looking behind to see if I followed. I stood at the mouth of the cave, my heart pounding, limbs tingling as panic crept into me like a dark shadow. I stood frozen in place.

  I heard his curse echo inside the darkness, and then he emerged again.

  He strode up to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me forward.

  I could do this. I needed to. For him I had to do this.

  I stumbled behind him as he dragged me into the massive rock cavern that housed three caves. If I hadn’t felt as though I were being swallowed up, I’d have found this place mystical and beautiful. Natural rock formations rose far above us to open up into a mouth that encased the stream.

  The flash of memories hit like a blast of ice pellets. I gasped as panic ate away common sense. All I could think about were the cages, his fangs biting my neck, the never-ending cold. Dampness clung to my skin like leaches sucking every ounce of warmth from my body.

  Fight. Fight. Fight.

  Balen pulled me back up against his chest and whispered into my ear, “Breathe, Danni. Breathe.”

  I shook uncontrollably, my stomach churned, and my legs and arms were numb as memories flooded my mind with visions of Ryszard, the cage, Balen and the horror we suffered.

  “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “I know.” His voice was like a calm melody, easing the panic. “I can do this.”

  A figure emerged out of the darkness and my first thought was Ryszard and I stiffened. But as he drew near, I recognized the snake tattoo on his neck.

  The man raised his hand and said something I couldn’t make out. Then nothing.

  “THIS MUST HAPPEN NOW,” Waleron said. He nodded to Danni. “And she must be calm.”

  “She will be.” I held her in my arms as she slept in DS, Deep Sleep. “The Bond? What are the chances this will break it? Is there any other way? She doesn’t want to be a Scar.”

  Waleron stood at the stream’s edge, his eyes staring into the blackness. “Genevieve is responsible for the Bond and she refuses to break it.”

  “Fuck.” Stupid Wraith had no idea the shit-storm she’d caused.

  “My theory is that it will break once Danni makes the transformation. The spell is with a female human, not a female Scar.” Waleron crouched and dragged his fingers through the water and then rose again. “I’ll assist on keeping her calm when she wakes from DS. The Wraiths have followed me, unfortunately, and I suspect aren’t too far behind.”

  “And if she doesn’t want this?”

  “Then she dies. You can’t be taken to the realm with the Bond in place,” Waleron said matter-of-factly. “There is no option.”

  This was bullshit. Why the hell would Genevieve screw with us like this? But whether Danni wanted to be a Scar or not, I wouldn’t let her die. “Let’s do this.”

  Waleron placed his hand on her forehead and spoke words of waking.

  Danni jerked upright and I immediately saw the confusion on her face as she looked around. “What happened?” Danni’s heart raced, but she was no longer shaking and she addressed Waleron in a steady voice.

  I felt the energy shift as Waleron filled her with calmness before he spoke, but it was to me. “She must drown. You will bring her back with your breath and your blood.”

  “What?” I shouted. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”

  Waleron raised his brows. “I don’t joke. Ever. It’s the only way. Once she dies, you have minutes to bring her back. Give her your breath and your blood.”

  “Drown?” Danni asked, her hand clutched in mine.

  “I’ll be as weak as a wilted piece of lettuce if I touch that water. How the hell will I be able to bring her back? What if I can’t bring her back?”

  Waleron shrugged. “Then she dies.”

  “No.” My hand curled into fist. “I won’t take the risk.”

  “Then she dies anyway.” Waleron walked over to a notch in the cavern wall that was about eight by eight and five feet high. “Bring her here.”

  “Balen?” Her voice quivered and my chest tightened at the sound.

  “Fuck.” Die. I never expected this, and maybe that was why Waleron never said anything. Maybe this was why I’d never heard of any human changing into a Scar.

  Die.

  She had to die.

  I looked at Danni and saw the alarm in her eyes. She heard what we said, knew what was about to happen, and I could do nothing to ease her fear because I was just as fuckin’ terrified.

  Waleron had calmed her panic with his mind, but still I sensed her anxiety, the shivers coursing through her body, her heart pumping frantically.

  I cupped her head in my hands. “Danni, if there was any other way . . . I promise, I’ll bring you back. I swear to you.”

  “I don’t want to drown,” she whispered. “I don’t want to drown, Balen.”

  Jesus. I looked to Waleron. “How many others have done this?”

  “None.”

  “Damn it, promise us it will work.”

  “I don’t decide who lives or dies.”

  “For Christ’s sake.” Did we have a choice? My tracking ability was already picking up on the Wraiths nearing. Could I force her if she refused in order to save her life? Or was I killing her by doing this?

  I pulled her up against my chest. “I can’t let you die, little one. I can’t.” Wasn’t that a fucked up statement. Because no matter what happened—she had to die.

  I wanted to run for my life. Unfortunately, running would cost me my life. But then again, so would staying.

  Drown. Die. Balen had to bring me back. Holy crap, this was not what I had expected. Maybe chanting some spells, a special drink maybe. But dying? And if I didn’t . . . I’d die anyway.

  I knew the Waleron guy was trying to ease the fear, but he had no idea the magnitude of my terror at having to drown. I’d have to force myself to stay under the water against every survival instinct.

  “That is why Balen will help you,” Waleron said.

  I jerked my gaze to the Taldeburu.

  “He’ll keep you from surfacing if that instinct arises. Which it will.”

  When I looked up at Balen; he was deathly pale.

  Waleron raised his head and looked to the mouth of the cave. “Do it now.”

  I wanted to live. I’d survived my mother’s slow, agonizing death, my father’s suicide, and then Ryszard’s torture.

  Balen wanted me to fight. His words repeated over and over in my head until I eased out of his embrace and walked to what looked like a stagnant pool of water that sat in the notch of the cave; the blackness ready to suck me under.

  “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Could I willingly climb into that water and force myself to drown? No. That was why Balen would keep my head under.

  I put my hand on the rocky surface of the edge and climbed into the water. I glanced over at Balen who was tense, eyes hard and brows drawn together.

  “Bring me back.” I took a deep breath, maybe my last one and said, “I’m fighting here.”

  “Jesus, Danni.”

  Cold rushed over my body as I slipped beneath the surface. I held my breath, unable to end this quick and suck the water into my lungs. No, I’d take the long way and hold my breath until nothing was left.

  Bubbles of air slipped from my mouth and rose to the surface. I closed my eyes, willing myself to relax, but my lungs burned as the last bubble escaped. Air. I needed air. I struggled to fight the instinct to rise to the surface, but survival won. I couldn’t do this. I didn’t want to drown.
My eyes flashed open.

  Live.

  I wasn’t ready to die. Oh, God, I wanted Balen’s arms around me, to feel his lips, taste him. I wanted to love him with all my heart for as long as we had. I wanted to fight for us.

  I kicked wildly for the surface, but suddenly, Balen’s arms wrapped around me, holding me tight to his body, and keeping us beneath the water. I looked up at him and saw his tortured green eyes staring at me, his wet hair, that same look I’d captured in all my paintings.

  I screamed silently. My lungs screamed. I was afraid. Afraid to suffer. Afraid to die.

  He stroked my hair and pushed my face into the crook of his shoulder. I felt his tension, every muscle reacting to the natural urgency to save me.

  I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. Panic seized every part of my mind and body. His arm tightened around my waist and his hand stilled in my hair. My legs kicked, my body reacting to the urgency, but he wouldn’t release me.

  Nothing was left. My mouth opened and my eyes bulged as my lungs starved for oxygen. And then . . . I sucked in the water.

  My lungs rejected the flooding and there was a crushing pain in my chest.

  I jerked and revolted and still Balen held me to him.

  Then darkness.

  HER PULSE WEAKENED, HER heart slowed and then . . . nothing. I surfaced like a madman, Danni’s limp body in my arms. I was so weak from the effect the water had on Scars, even carrying Danni in my arms was debilitating.

  She was dead.

  Fuck.

  No.

  The pain crawling under my skin was like grappling hooks stabbing me and then ripping me apart. “Danni. Please.”

  I climbed out of the pool, my eyes never leaving her face.

  Oh, God, she was pale. Her lips were blue and slightly parted. Her eyes, lifeless. Fuck. Fuck. What if this didn’t work? What if I’d killed her? I’d held her under the water. She’d wanted to live; I’d seen the desperation in her eyes, begging me to let her go.

  My stomach lurched and I swallowed several times to try and stop from vomiting. Jesus, what had I done?

  A hand came down on my shoulder and I looked up at Waleron.